travel

in this country, i've mostly traveled alone, except that one glorious trip to atlantic city with sudden casual acquaintances who became something more during the trip: people with whom one could indulge in pillow fights and unrestrained conversation. i think i'd rather travel alone, all things considered, even though this weekend in boston, charlestown, cambridge, salem, hyannis and provincetown wouldn't have been possible without poor john driving great distances in his ancient honda civic he is always so tentative about (because it has some 150,000 miles on it) but which served us beautifully during the trip. the season hadn't yet begun at the cape, and we saw things very differently, john and i, but i may not have been as horrid to travel with as i imagine. or i could have been worse. i rather suspect the latter. anyhow, i insisted upon wandering away on my own, and had enough time to not go batshit crazy having to deal with another human being for a prolonged period of time. if it isn't people i tire of, after a while, it must be their idiosyncrasies or their perspective, as i get to know them better, and after a while, i cannot hide my intolerance. stupid things will set me off, and i will just want to be left alone. i don't think i've worked hard enough to adjust very much.

anyway, the biting cold couldn't keep me from the sun, sand, sea and seagulls. i already knew, even while i was there, that i was going back again. the cape has grown on me since last summer. frightening longing.